Obama 50: Pros and Cons

"OBAMA TURNING 50"


PRO: Barack Obama's birthday is next week!

CON: Donald Trump wants proof.


PRO: Our nation's president is turning the big 5-0!

CON: Our nation's debt is turning the big 5-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0!


PRO: Obama said he wants a debt ceiling deal for his birthday.

CON: But if that fails, he'll settle for a gift card to Outback Steakhouse.


PRO: Obama's birthday guests will get to play all his favorite party games.

CON: Like "Pin the debt on our grandchildren."


PRO: Being 50 should not affect Obama's performance in the White House.

CON: But just to be safe, he's stocking up on Viagra.


PRO: Even the Republicans got Obama a gift.

CON: All of their 2012 presidential candidates.


PRO: Obama says he's not going through any mid-life crisis.

CON: The presidential limo is now a red Mazda Miata.


PRO: Obama blew out the candles and made a wish.

CON: When he opened his eyes, Biden was still there.


PRO: At his party, Obama opened the door and 100 people jumped up and yelled "Surprise!!!"

CON: The Secret Service shot 12 of them.

Jimmy Fallon, Justin Timberlake: History of Rap, Part 2

Herman Cain: Pizza and Gospel Music

Justin Bieber and Jimmy Fallon: Someday

Justin Bieber has a new fragrance - Someday.

Jimmy Fallon lends a hand in helping promote it.

Watch the ad here.

Worst Summer Vacation

Rick Perry: Twitter, Tweeter

JIMMY FALLON: During a speech last week, Texas Governor Rick Perry accidentally referred to Twitter as 'Tweeter.' Perry apologized for the gaffe and asked everyone to friend him on Headbook.

_________________

Flashback: Obama refers to Twitter as 'Twitters.'

Jimmy Fallon: Weiner Song

On Thursday's Late Night, Jimmy Fallon performed a song he composed in honor of disgraced DEMOCRAT Congressman Anthony Weiner.

From the Late Night blog:

Tonight Jimmy busts out the guitar and sings a farewell ode to Anthony Weiner! It's been a long, hard journey, but he finally petered out.

"The Ballad of Anthony Weiner"

Jimmy Fallon: Anthony Weiner

On Tuesday's Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Rep. Anthony Weiner apologized to his staff.

Here's video:

Jimmy Fallon and Jon Stewart (Video)

David Crosby, Graham Nash, Jimmy Fallon

"Neil Young" stopped by Late Night with Jimmy Fallon again.

This time he sang Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA," with a little help from David Crosby and Graham Nash.

Great harmonies.

Here's video:



More Late Night performances by "Neil Young":

"Whip My Hair," with Bruce Springsteen

"Double Rainbow"

"Pants on the Ground"

"Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"

Bon Iver, Jimmy Fallon

Justin Vernon of Bon Iver (and of Eau Claire, Wisconsin) performed a beautiful version of "I Can't Make You Love Me" on Monday's Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.



Here's Justin being interviewed by Jimmy:

JUSTIN VERNON: Man, there's not enough Hornsby in my scene.

Bon Iver will be playing two dates at the Riverside in Milwaukee, with special guest The Rosebuds.

Friday July 22 • 8PM
Saturday July 23 • 8PM SOLD OUT

Chelsea Handler, Jimmy Fallon, and the Special Olympics

Chelsea Handler was a guest Monday on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

They talked about a previous appearance Handler made on the show, over a year ago, when Handler and Fallon had a "Martini race."

The two raced, running up and down the stairs of the aisles of the studio audience, carrying martini glasses. When Fallon made it back to the stage, he slipped, his feet going out from under him, landing flat on his back. He cut his hand on the broken martini glasses.

I remember that show. It was a really bad fall.

Here's a little bit of video:



So, Handler and Fallon were discussing this incident from March 2010, a memorable moment in the show's history. They watched a clip of the fall.

The problem: Handler made an unfortunate comment when describing Fallon's performance in the race.

Transcript

JIMMY FALLON: Last time you were here, I almost died.

CHELSEA HANDLER: You did! You had an injury. You sustained a big injury.

FALLON: Here's what we did. It's the dumbest thing ever. I don't even know the game we were playing.

HANDLER: Well, you wanted to race me making vodka drinks, which is not that original of an idea if you know me, but whatever, and I was sensible enough to put on a pair of nursing shoes. You...

FALLON: Nursing shoes?

HANDLER: Yes, because I had heels on, so I know how to run.

FALLON: What are nursing shoes?

HANDLER: They're...don't worry about it. They're private. But anyway, we ran and we raced. We had to race and make drinks, like martinis.

FALLON: Yeah, and I was just trying to do something fun and something different.

HANDLER: Right. And then you fell on your ass.

FALLON: It was horrible.

HANDLER: Yeah. You looked like you were in the Special Olympics, to be quite honest. Not the fun kind.

FALLON: I don't know what that means, but all I know is that I was bleeding. It was the last time we've ever used glass on the show.

Chelsea Handler is a comedian, and sometimes comedians say things that are offensive. It comes with the job. Making people laugh is likely to tick someone off.

However, the Special Olympics thing was really not cool.

Is it that hard to keep from mocking the mentally challenged, particularly referring to such a great program as the Special Olympics by name?

When Obama was Jay Leno's guest just about two months after his inauguration, Obama made a terrible remark about his bowling skills and the Special Olympics. More on that here.

When Leno was joking about Obama not being a very good bowler, Obama said, "It's like -- it was like Special Olympics, or something."

Obama was forced to apologize for his remark.

After comparing his bowling to the Special Olympics on "The Tonight Show" Thursday, President Obama called Special Olympics Chairman Tim Shriver to apologize before the program even aired.

“He expressed his disappointment and he apologized, in a way that was very moving,” Shriver said on ABC's “Good Morning America.” “It’s important to see that words hurt, and words do matter. And these words that in some respect can be seen as humiliating or a put-down of people with special needs do cause pain, and they do result in stereotypes."

Obama told Shriver he wants to have some Special Olympics competitors over to the White House for basketball or bowling.

I don't know if Obama ever made good on his promise to Shriver.

I do know that four months after Obama's cruel remark he hadn't found time to host Special Olympics athletes at the White House.

From The Guardian, July 9, 2009:

Previously an academic specialising in the social and emotional factors of learning, Shriver probably knows better than most that it can be counterproductive to preach — particularly when addressing your country's new commander-in-chief: "It was a tough experience for all of us in the field of intellectual disability, and Special Olympics in particular, because nobody wants to be in a situation where we're scolding, or perceived to be scolding, the president of the United States or a major political figure."

Obama offered to have some Special Olympic athletes to visit the White House to play his favourite sport, basketball, or bowling, one the president has perhaps had enough of — but to date nothing has happened: "We have not had a specific event yet where the president can interact with Special Olympics athletes yet, but we're hopeful. He has been busy."

Obama hadn't been too busy to find time for his excessively publicized "date nights" and to host several events highlighting celebrities performing at the White House, but he was too busy to host Special Olympics athletes.

That was really a terrible misstep by Obama.

Now, comments disparaging Special Olympics participants made by Chelsea Handler certainly don't carry the same weight that such comments made by the president of the United States do.

Still, I am troubled by the ease with which some people use the Special Olympics to ridicule others.

It's wrong. It's cruel. It's not funny.
_______________

Here's Video.

Jimmy Fallon: Trump, Obama, and Bin Laden's Death

Donald Trump reacted to the death of Osama bin Laden on Monday's Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

Video here.



Transcript

"DONALD TRUMP": Ladies and gentlemen, as you all know something hugely important and gravely serious happened last night. That's right. The last 16 minutes of Celebrity Apprentice were interrupted by President Obama.

Instead of seeing the thrilling conclusion of the Farouk Hair System hair show challenge, people were forced to watch President Obama inform the nation that al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden is dead.

I don't know about you, but to me, the message is clear: President Obama is so scared of me and so desperate for attention that he felt the need to hunt down and kill Osama bin Laden right in the middle of my show. That's an Obama move.

Mr. President, you mean to tell me that of all the times you could have picked to bring the most wanted man in the world to justice, you had to do it during one of the most exciting boardrooms in the history of Celebrity Apprentice?

I mean, it was great TV. NeNe was yelling at Star. Star was yelling at NeNe. Great, great stuff.

But why couldn't you have interrupted a low-rated NBC show, like America's Next Great Restaurant, or Chuck, or The Event, or Perfect Couples, or Outsourced, or Friday Night... basically any other show on NBC? Where were you during The Paul Reiser Show, Mr. President?

Don't get me wrong. I think it's great news that Osama bin Laden is dead. It's fantastic news, terrific news. But couldn't this news have waited 15 more minutes? This way you could have interrupted - let's see what comes on after The Celebrity Apprentice - oh, yeah... THE NEWS. Maybe you could have waited to announce this news during THE NEWS.

The fact is the President clearly coordinated this secret CIA mission, assassination, and ensuing press conference specifically to cut off the end of my show, The Celebrity Apprentice.

So, basically, I killed Osama bin Laden. So congratulations to me - Donald Trump. Thank you. You're welcome.

Anyway, we now return to whatever the hell is on NBC right now. Honestly, I have no idea. I think it's The Late Times with Jason Fallon.

I'm Donald Trump. And God bless Donald Trump.

Thank you, Mr. Trump, for bringing bin Laden to justice.

Trump Presidency Pros and Cons - Jimmy Fallon

On Tuesday, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon examined the pros and cons of a Donald Trump presidency.

Video.

Pro: He has a 10-point plan to fix the economy in four years.
Con: He has a 300-point plan to fix his hair in the morning.


Pro: We'd get to hear a president say, "You're Fired!"
Con: Obama says that to Biden at least 10 times a day.


Pro: It might be refreshing to have a president with almost no political experience and zero qualifications for the job.
Con: That's actually Sarah Palin's campaign slogan.


Pro: As president, he can save taxpayer money by flying in his own personal jet.
Con: Hair Force One.


Pro: Contestants on "Celebrity Apprentice" might vote for him.
Con: Meat Loaf said, "I would do anything for Trump... but I won't do that."


Pro: He could be the first president to take us to Mars...
Con: ...and finally reunite Gary Busey with his people.


Pro: The First Lady...
Con: ...would be his third lady.


Pro: If he wins, he'd move into the White House.
Con: If he loses, he'd build an even taller White House in front of it so it ruins Obama's view.


Pro: His greatest foe in 2012: President Obama.
Con: His greatest foe any other year: a strong gust of wind.

Meat Loaf and Jimmy Fallon - Bagel Bites

Meat Loaf and Jimmy Fallon sang a dramatic ode to Bagel Bites.

Video.



Such passion! Beautiful!

Jimmy Fallon: Government Shutdown

JIMMY FALLON: It turns out the White House might have to lay off staff members if the government shuts down on Friday. It's really bad news for nonessential workers - interns, pages, Biden.

Jimmy Fallon: Particle Smaller than Atom, Brett Favre

JIMMY FALLON: This is a major science story, you guys, major science story. Researchers in the U.S. have discovered a new particle smaller than the atom. It's unbelievable. We actually have a photograph.



It's hard to tell what it is. Can we widen out?

Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon - 'Friday'

After a successful fundraising effort, Stephen Colbert appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon to perform Rebecca Black's "Friday" with The Roots.

Taylor Hicks and the Knicks City Dancers also took part in the extravaganza that included pyrotechnics, confetti, and balloons.

It was electric.

Enjoy the magic.

Casey Abrams and Jimmy Fallon

Last week, Casey Abrams was almost voted off American Idol. The judges used their "save" on Abrams and he survived to sing another week.

However, sensing his days on Idol may be numbered, Casey Abrams has been doing product endorsements. Some were shown on Wednesday's Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

Watch the video:

Jimmy Fallon: Obama, 'Dancing with the Stars'

JIMMY FALLON: Last night, President Obama's speech on Libya was actually scheduled early so it wouldn't interrupt Dancing with the Stars. That's ridiculous. This is a major historical event that affects the lives of millions of people. I can't believe it was almost interrupted by Obama's speech.

That's right. Last night, there was another big episode of the show Dancing with the Stars. Yeah, but it was preceded by Obama's new show - Dancing around the Objectives in Libya.

Critics are saying that President Obama seemed defensive and slightly angry during his speech on Libya. Sounds like somebody's March Madness bracket isn't doing so hot.